this is from like last year sometime... i dont remember the exact date i did this quiz but it was on my myspace About Me section and i didnt want it there but i couldnt bring myself to just delete this.... lol.



L.O.V.E

L is for the way you look at me...
The kind of person you're first attracted to.: sweet guys who make me laugh a lot
Do you believe in love at first sight?: no. lust at first sight exists though. in order to love someone you have to know really intimate stuff about them first.
How do you show someone you're interested?: i dunno, i just hang around them as much as possible i guess... they usually just figure it out
Is there such thing as a perfect relationship?: perfect is a subjective word. perfect to one person might be horrifying to another.
How do you know when someone thinks you're attractive?: it's all in the eyes
How do you know 'it's right'?: when it doesnt feel 'wrong' ? lol
Could you date someone who has been only your friend for a long time?: been there before
What do you wear to attract the opposite sex?: something low cut and sexy :P
What makes someone sexy?: i dont really know... confidence i guess. a sense of humor, looks too obviously but thats not the only important thing
Are you uncomfortable staring in to someone's eyes who likes you?: i dont like staring, period. lol. its creepy. but it can be flattering if someone stares at you occasionally
Do you come across as confident, sexy, friendly, subtle, or innocent?: friendly, innocent.. i dunno, you tell me? those are my guesses though.
When someone catches your eye, do you try to make eye contact or avoid it?: haha i avoid it. im super shy.
Your favorite colors of eyes in the opposite sex...: color doesnt matter too much, as long as its fitting for that individual person. i love joey's eyes
What makes you sexy?: me? sexy? hahaha. again, you tell me.

O is for the only one I see...
Describe your signifcant other or crush.: hm he's very sweet, to me anyway, and i dunno we just have a lot of fun together. plus hes adorable :P
When are you the most happy in a relationship?: when i feel safe. like nothing bad is going to happen, and im content with the point we are at in our lives together.
Do you believe in soul mates? Have you found yours?: no i dont. a person can truly love more than one person in their lifetime.
How many people have broken your heart?: 2. but one was in high school and it seems petty and pathetic now that i look back on it
Would you ever cheat or have you ever cheated?: yeah i have before, but i will NEVER again... i learned my lesson trust me..... its fun to be bad but karma seriously kicks you in the ass.
Have you ever loved someone who didn't love you back?: well i dunno if it was LOVE but yeah i was pretty infatuated with a guy who didnt feel the same way
Have you ever given someone your entire heart?: yes. and it was quite possibly the dumbest thing ive ever done.
What kind of things do you do to show someone you are theirs?: its really the little things that show you really care. like making him lunch or visiting him at work or holding his hand in public to let other people know hes yours :p
Is there ever a 'happily ever after'?: i believe that is accomplishable. it just hasnt happened to me yet.
Do you want to grow old with someone or be single?: i used to say i'll never get married cuz i cant picture being with one person for my whole life. but i'm starting to rethink that.
Are you a hopeless romantic?: i guess so, i mean i like to be swooned and i like cute little nicknames and just laying in each others arms like nothing else matters....
What's the most romantic thing anyone's ever done for you?: oh god i dunno. this valentines day was freakin adorable. he cooked me dinner, we had champagne, he cleaned up his room, got his haircut, got me a beautiful necklace.. <3
What are you like when you're in love?: smitten. lol. i will do ANYTHING for that guy when im with him. its kinda sad actually.
Describe your dream person.: besides anthony green? lol. i dont have one. my dream person is really someone who will just keep me happy and that i love being with. and joey fits that category :]

V is very, very extraordinary...
What has been the weirdest date you've ever been on?: i havent really been on any weird dates. just dates with weird people lol
And the very best?: i hate to admit this but when brian took me to Blue.. but thats only under the category of "going out in public" dates
What's the most money a boyfriend or girlfriend has spent on you?: oh boy brian bought me SOOO much crap.. prolly like 1 or 2 thousand dollars worth of dinners and clothes and random crap i didnt need (or really want, but i wasnt complaining)
And the most you've spent on them?: well lets see. its a tie between bamboozle this year and all of spring break last year, considering we went to taste of chaos and new york that week
Which one of your relationships was the shortest?: mike s. we dated for like a month, not even
Which was the longest?: marshall
Are you friends with any of your exes?: yeah i still talk to mike, lewy and ryan
Do you wish you were back together with any of your exes?: no. N-O. before, yes, but things are different now and i wouldnt change a thing.
Do you ever have dreams about your exes?: all the god damn time. it SUCKS.
If you want to get married, what age?: no clue. whenever im ready.. mid twenties maybe?
Are you open or closed because of past hurt?: very closed. its hard for me to let anyone see all of me ever since i got my heart ripped out and stomped on for NO REASON WHATSOEVER
What is your philosophy on love?: its nice while it lasts, but im quite cynical about it now.
Who would you die for?: only the people who would die for me in return. let me know if youre one of them, then i'll answer this question again.
Who do you secretly yearn for?: *cough*anthonygreen*cough* lol. nobody. i have my joey and i love him muchly :)

E is even more than anyone that you adore...
The reason you love your signficant other or crush.: i hate when im asked this question.. its like 10 thousand little reasons... but mostly cuz of the way he makes me feel. like im important, and special, and nobody else matters
Would you change yourself for someone you loved?: only if its something they want changed that is actually a realistic do-able change.
Would you give up a dream for someone you loved?: depends. how much i want this dream versus how much i love this person. and whichever one is more attainable with the least losses
Would you quit a job for someone you loved?: i almost did. that would have been a mistake. but its a job, not a career, so its not as drastic. a career, NO i wouldnt quit that for someone.
The thing you love about relationships.: they make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside!! lol kidding. i dunno. i like feeling loved. and i like doing things for the people i love.
The thing you love about being single.: no restrictions, no worries, you just get to have fun and not worry "is this gonna piss so-and-so off if he finds out?"
The person who's on your mind right now...: thats a really dumb question... anthony green of course!! hahahaha. (i love you josephhhh :P)

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Eh... Life ain't TOO too bad right now. I am no longer miserable, so I guess that's a step up in improvement.

I met a guy last night. Adorable. Extremely nice. Gentleman.


.......


It would never work.


I don't want any more guys to like me. Like, ever. ...Okay, maybe not EVER cuz that would get lonely and old really fast. But I'm tired of breaking guys' hearts. I broke mike's, i broke brian's, i broke ryan's, i kinda broke isaac's a long time ago.. Marshall broke my heart, but I'm the one who made it hard on him in the first place. He rarely did anything wrong, and if he did, it wasn't intentional. Unlike me, the walking disaster.. the fuckup... I did so many things to hurt him and my intention wasn't to hurt him either but I was only thinking about myself when I did them. So just like all the others, I sucked him in to the point where he was blinded with love... or infatuation... or something.. I'm not even sure what it is I do to people. I'm a disease. I suck them in until they fall head over heels for me, and thennnnn I get sick of them. Or I do something to fuck it up. And then we end up not together for whatever reason, and I feel awful.

Whatever it is, I'm destined to be alone. I'll always have my family, and I will probably keep my good friends, but I will never have the love I want.

There, I've said it, and now I just need to believe it and accept it.








So onto a more pleasant topic.. Now I have to choose where to move out to, because suddenly instead of having one very slim option, i have like 3 likely options. Hope is definitely moving out of Jen and JD's apartment, so I cooouuullldd live there. $250 a month... nice people to live with... only thing is that apparently it's really dirty cuz of the one couple who lives there. but i'm messy too, so hey what the hell, im still considering it.
    i ccooouuullldd live with hope in her NEW apartment with her boyfriend..i dunno if anyone else would be living there. she told me they'd charge me like 300 a month... and its a reeaallly nice apartment cuz its the same apartment complex where brit and tom used to live and its clean and in a really nice area. BUT its in bethlehem and thats 20 minutes from HERE so it would be 40 minutes to work, and about an hour or maybe a little more to RVCC (if i keep taking classes there this next semester). im already spending like $100 on gas every week cuz i drive so much so that would be bad... but maybe i could transfer to northampton community college instead, that would be closer, and plus then i'd be in-state and it prolly wouldnt be as expensive.
    Or my third option is to get my own apartment anyway. I could get a studio apartment if i can find a cheap one.. the cheapest ive found is $525 a month but then i'd have to pay utilities too and thats a LOT of money for just me to pay. or i could get a 2 bedroom and find a roommate.. brittany was talkin about wanting to live with me.. hahahahaahahaha that would be hysterical cuz the rent would never get paid, we'd prolly have parties like every night, the place would be trashed, etc. And Marcee was saying how she was lookin for an apartment too. and i know she'd be reliable with rent and stuff cuz she's like 27 and really responsible. the negative factors about finding my own apartment are that it would be more expensive than my other two options, i'd have an issue finding a roommate (cuz sara is out of the question, brit wouldnt be a good idea, and i dunno if i could deal with marcee lol), and the only leases i've found so far are all for one year. and i dont know whether i'm going back to wvu next year or not, so who knows if i'd be here long enough to fill out my whole lease time.
    So i have several options but none of them are really perfect. but we'll see what happens. either way i'll just be happy to move out.


my right hand is freezing but my left hand is warm. it's odd.

that is all.

iiiii miiiight move ooouuuutttttt :) :) :) :) :) which makes me UBER happy like you wouldnt believe =P

 

but im gonna try not to get my hopes up TOO much cuz i know if i do, i'll be shot down and get all sad and stuff. lol. and we dont want that happening.

 

 

that is all.